struggles

despite drugged highs, we still struggle. i try and he's tried. we're just so different, and it's a huge adjustment. on top of that, we've got our own personal issues we need to overcome or learn to work with.

he's much more sensitive than i'm used to. i have to think about everything i say and how he'll take it. he misconstrues my tone. he needs me to be this person i've not been. i think she's there, but how do i free her from the walls? they've been there so long. they’re safe. safe and empty. there’s no real joy here.

but there's all reason for his neuroses and knowing it has helped me understand him more. and i think we want the same things. but should it be with each other? or are we just too different?

we'll see. if this isn't working, it won't be a dragged out thing like it's been in the past for me. he wouldn't tolerate it. when he wants something, he wants it now. if it's not working, then he must move on.

there's no room for complacency in this relationship.