i'll wait for you

oh how far we’ve come in such a short period. i think we’re in a better place now.

i’m feeling the way i’ve learned i’m supposed to feel. the way i couldn’t feel with anybody else, where i’d dread the things that all other normal girls crave and need in relationships. no one understood it and no one was ever able to get me there.

until maybe a couple months ago. was it sudden? was it the euphoric place he took me? because now I’m here. here, in this place they all talk and sing and write about. and I’m all weak, and I can’t stop. it’s like a crash waiting to happen.

but there’s also still all this fear. is this how it’s supposed to be? doesn’t even matter, really. it’s too late. the person i probably should be the most cautious about has control. i don’t even know how it happened. i’ve never given anyone this power before. this all could end so horribly. how can such a place filled with such joy also have so much fear?

until the dreadful ending and one that’s very possible, i’ll just continue to miss him. him and his chaotic, beautiful mind.


your life's
been on trial
it's killing you
it's in your eyes
cause you
cut you up
bruise your heart
criticize
friendly lies
acting tough
beat you up
they'll be what they are
and I'll be so
so lonely
without you
i'll wait for you

i’ll wait for you