you need me like a bad habit

he feels like college. toilet paper-less, penniless, mattress on the floor. an $8 uber ride is too much, he can barely afford a slice of pecan pie. he used to be heavily into drugs - his ex-best friend is serving a life sentence for stabbing his girlfriend to death while high on heroin. ex-girlfriends have been alcoholics, cheated on him, faked pregnancies. the stories he tells me make it difficult for me to understand how he's so

sweet. full of hollywood dreams, he just wants to cuddle and write. he rubs my back and head while we watch low-budget horror movies on netflix. we make-out at 2am to taking back sunday-type music. i constantly tell him how precious he is, how i'm too much of an asshole for him. he says he likes it. when i'm with him it's like I'm 19 again... free of any real responsibilities, concealing hickies, skipping class.

and he smiles with his eyes.